There's a message for San Francisco residents in "Rise of the Planet of the Apes," which scored $54 million at the box office this weekend: The SFPD is woefully vulnerable to a super-intelligent primate attack. (And you were worried about zombies ...)
Indeed, the apes in "Rise" make our police force look ridiculous, and they show some previously unknown architectural deficiencies in the Golden Gate Bridge. But even as I watched the "Braveheart"-like ape attack on the city, I couldn't help thinking "It could be worse. Much worse."
"Rise of the Apes" is maybe the fourth most nightmare-inducing takeover of San Francisco in popular film, and 10th worst if you include video games. Below are my current SF-in-rubble cinematic rankings. Movies that involve a natural disaster ("10.5," "The Core") or real-life events ("San Francisco") were excluded. So were films that star Nicolas Cage.
I've also gauged the property damage caused by the attack, and our new overlords' chances of getting MUNI to run on time. Tell me what I missed in the comments.
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