Breaking news . . .
U.S. To Give Limestone-Based Economy A Shot Starting Next Week
"Sounds Weird, But You Never Know," Officials Say
Washington -- Facing a grim fiscal future made even more uncertain by
the looming insolvency of Greece and Italy, the U.S. Treasury Department
has announced the nation will switch over to a limestone-based economy
beginning next Monday. "We're giving each American family 3 tons of
Tennessee-quarried limestone, declaring 5 pounds of rock to be
equivalent to the value of one chicken, and then hoping the people can
figure it out from there," Treasury Timothy Geithner said. "Sure, it may
be a long shot, but we've more or less exhausted our options at this
point. What do we have to lose?" At press time, speculators were driving
up the price of limestone and creating an unsustainable bubble that will
inevitably require a massive taxpayer bailout when it bursts.
Read more:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-to-give-limestonebased-economy-a-shot-starting,26826/
"I just wanted you to know"
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